Monday, February 18, 2008
"Attack him" Screamed their Leader With furious Fury
"Where...............are the Donuts Ment-i-Sent You promised us Donuts" Screamed one of them
"The Lukkha stole the Donuts ScaryJam" said Ment-i-Sent
"May the Dice Grind his bones to dust" screamed ScaryJam
"THUMBELINA!" roared the big Daddy as he Leaped into the fray
Within moments they lay on the ground writhing in poignant but not stirring pain
Only one was left Standing Their Leader Ment-i-Sent and his eyes gazed at me trying to bore holes through the fat parts they were positively boring...ish.
"Lukkha Prepare to be fragged" said Ment-i-Sent and followed up promptly By Conjuring from the air two stave's which had Dice Stuck to their ends one with White dice and the other with Black. He made them spin until they were nothing but a blur and then sent them at me hurtling at me Full speed.
With Nowhere to go that made this any more fun I stood there and stuck my hands out
and caught them
both of them
'Ha! take that stereotypical action hero ' I thought to myself
The Stave's were now trying to return to their owner.
"Oh no you Don't I am NOT letting my free ticket to Bad assedness getting away so damn easily" I exclaimed
and they broke into clean halves half went to him and half went to moi.
"Stil badass though" I said
Ment-i-Sent shrieked like a banshee and then conjured a portal and disappeared through it
"After Him B.D Quickly" I said
"Not so Fast my newly made rotund friend, Know that beyond this portal lies the Land that was once almost named Albion The land that has a leaf on its flag Know that after you enter you will have to stay for a year at least and Know that many dangerous and mind boggling games will be played and you will have much to undertake. What say you O most glorious fat assedness?"
"See you on the other side B.D"
And In i Jump.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Big Daddy Stared intently at me for a while Then in a rumbling voice deeper than the deepest of abbysses it said to me "Come with me if you want to live".
"Hey" said the little sister at his side
"I mean.... Come with us if you want to live" he boomed
"But I have to go" I groaned "can this wait?"
"Okay ..... I mean NO do it while we walk we have to embark on a dangerous and potentially world altering journey foolish boy " he boomed
"With soiled Pants ?" I inquired ?
"True..... One can never really be taken seriously if one soils ones own pants can one " he said affably "all right take your time while you ahem......proceed I can fill you in on the details. What is it little one?"
"But I've never seen you go to the toilet" said the little Sister
"There are many things in this world you have not seen little one" chuckled the Big daddy.
"but that means you soil yourself all the time" she said
"SILENCE IMPUDENT INFANT!!" he roared
A photo of something ghastly looking slid under the door of the cubicle I was in.
"That" said The Big Daddy "is the leader of the Assorted Soul Seeking Wierdos In Predominantly Evil Skins and he threatens the future of all gaming kind and you are the only one who can stop him" he said.
"B....but I'm a fatass" I stuttered
"I know" sighed the big daddy "I know but we needed a real lukkha"
I glowed with pride as I sat on the commode.
"we must journey into worlds hitherto unknown Worlds of War Worlds..... of Craft " said the little sister in a sing-song voice
"Ah well i'm up for it lets go" I said exiting the cubicle and washing my hands thoroughly.
"don't Forget to flush " said a new Voice
Some thing had appeared out of thin air and was eyeing us with violently gleeful eyes. "Lukkha" said a voice from under a gray cloak "join us or be fragged into oblivion"
I looked up grimly
"bring it on"
Holy Cliffhanger Endings Batman!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
For the Last Decade or so Commercial Success has managed to elude Adventure games with the nimbleness and agility rarely demonstrated by even the most garishly flexible Sea monkey burglars. This has not stopped the Developers of this genre from Consistently producing games that have pushed the envelope consistently in terms of quality. I recently replayed three of my favorite adventure games all of which released in this era (all produced by Lucasarts who have sadly stopped doing adventure games recently and 2 0f em come very happily from the mind of Tim Schafer who has not ). So here Goes
Full Throttle is a full on Biker Noir n Thriller Comedy Adventure With a hero who sounds Really really cool and a villain that sounds nothing Like Luke Skywalker. Yup Mark Hammil is the voice of the main antagonist of this game and boy is he awesome! replete in its splendour as you solve puzzles that are pretty insanely funny(and tough) and simaltaneously listening to the killer lines that this is a game EVERYONE should play.
The Curse Of Monkey Island is the 3rd game in the Monkey Island series and it has every imaginable thing that fans(like me) of this series could ever hope for Including Monkeys. Guybrush Threepwood is back in another Buckle of your Swash Seat Adventure in all its Buccaneering Goodness and This time He and LeChuck Square off once and for all. Pirates of The Caribbean Stole a considerable amount of its setting from this series and Lets not forget the undead Sea Monkeys either! Total Awesomeness Aaahhhrrrrr ! (you know the way Geoffrey Rush Says Aaahhhrrr Matey)
Grim Fandango : A wild Romp Through the Aztec version of the Afterlife Set in modern day and teeming with Demons and Grim Reapers that have Foldable Scythes This is More a Legend than a game. Wildly difficult puzzles and imaginative Characterization puts this game into hall of fame territory.Critics say that this game is more of an interactive video than a game and then go on to say how much they enjoy the interaction part . Basically everybody loves it.
Well Thats all folks . Next up are Bioshock and a Suprise entrant
Thursday, January 24, 2008
RPG's: Role playing games are games that require the player to become completely immersed in their worlds.These games are always set in a fantastical alternate universe where Demons,Orcs,Humans and other myriad races exist and do their best to wipe each other out there are monsters to kill,plenty of loot to accumulate and decisions to make that will shape the future of the world you love in.Now most RPG's draw(or need to at least) from a vast resource of mythology and Sci-fi Fantasy(read tolkien) for the races and monsters that inhabit them.Considering the source material they have at their disposal you'd think that most RPG's would be Considerably different from one another unfortunately RPG's are mostly formulaic and lacking completely in innovation of any kind most RPG's Attempt to ape the popular RPG's in the market and this results in a number of Clones that are not fun to play however there are a considerable number of game that release every year that break the mold and succesfully manage to do something different successfully.Bioware,Bethesda and Black Isle are 3 companies that make awesome games continually.
Well Thats my take on a few popular genre's of games.Now here's my list of games for reviewing in Jan,Feb and March
1)Second Sight(review in the works)
2)Lionheart legacy of the Crusader
3)Baldurs Gate 2
5)Icewind Dale 2
6)Bioshock(review in the works)
8) Curse Of Monkey Island and Grim Fandango(review in the works)
9)Diablo 2(review in the works)(can you review Divinity)
10)Age of Empires and Civilization Vs Warcraft and Heroes of might and Magic
Well thats about it folks I'll post the Second Sight and Bioshock reviews Shortly For now Adios Amigos
Saturday, January 19, 2008
I didn't hear of Second Sight until December '07 and once I procured it and finished playing the first level I was hooked. Second Sight has this pretty generic story hero dude wakes up bald in hospital discovers the team with whom he tried to stop evil dude totally died. Here's where it gets interesting hero has flashback thinks he saved weird psychic babe in flashback and when he's in the present psychic babe is alive!(so much for Lost ).
All jokes aside the game has a fantastic plot with a pretty crazy twist in the tale right about the Climax.The gameplay is kinda clunky but it is amazing fun to play around with the psychic gifts that our hero possesses and that is really what counts . In general a game any video game lover shoud not miss. Play it if only to relive the old days when games weren't all about looks.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Call of duty 4 is the most engaging action game in the Call of duty series for 2 very simple reasons
1) Length -Unlike other shooters that spend way too much time doing nothing call of duty 4 makes you land in the thick of it and make no mistake it is pretty damn thick the plot is gritty and to the point i.e NO MEANINGLESS SIDEQUESTS
2) Action - The amount of fragging in the single player Campaign alone is sheerly insane I mean guys keep ddying wherever you seem to go and Call of Duty always knew how to mantain an insane pace.
the interface is pretty much the same point and click W,S,A,D to move around and you have a neat knife to melee with.Grenades to blow people up with and Flashbangs to make them dizzy and disoriented.The guns are your standard modern Army issue weapons that soldiers actually use in the field.
The graphics are biyoo-ti-fool. But not anything really special or new. the physics are good but not really great if you have played crysis or any of the recent FPS hits.But that doesn't mean this game isn't visually stunning what it means that it isn't visually stunning in comparison to Crysis which makes the Comparison kinda mean because it looks top-notch really.
and this game has its share of cool moments my favorite being the entire flashback mission which is in uber stealth mode and has a brilliant Climactic shootout 2 guys holding off an army Woah mama! Enjoy this thrill ride for the extremely short duration it lasts